Broken Read online

  Walking out of the club I feel an unfamiliar hand reach around my waist from behind rubbing me against his raging hard on. I turn with a quickness with my right hand pulled in tight against my waist, palm up, fingers curled about to uppercut this shithead right in the nose and when I get fully turned I see it’s not necessary because Cam has him in a choke hold from behind “Apologize to my girl ass hole” he spits at the sweaty looking idiot. After the guy tries to jerk free a few times he struggles out a “So..so..sorry” he is drunk his words are all jumbled but he is sober enough to know in one jerk Cam could rip his head off. The glint in his eye almost scares me. He chunks to guy to the side “Get out of here you piece of shit” grabbing my hand he pulls me through the door towards the bike. Still looking back at the guy crumpled on the ground I smile and hurry off with Cameron. I didn’t know my southern charmed love muffin had such a caveman complex. “Sorry Lexi but no man should ever put his hands on a woman without her permission. Especially mine.”

  The ride home is extreme Cam revs it up and we take off on the back wheel, I scream but as soon as it levels I giggle and tell him “Do it again!” Apparently Cam can drive anything on wheels, he manages with zero problems even thou it’s not really made for 2 riders. As the house rolls into view I’ve pretty much made myself sick knowing what’s coming. But I have to do this. I have to stay strong I have to push him away I have to give us both a life we deserve. He has to go home and love a girl who deserves him, who can love him without all the underlined hate for his gender. I have to give him that much. I have to punish him and prove to myself these things I feel are nothing. It’s been just a few days with Cam and my whole world has been shifted. He has been the rainbow in my colorless world.

  Man his body is BANGING. He is toned in all the right places. Muscles rippling at the skin as he hangs with his hands chained above his head. I can tell he is embarrassed hanging there with nothing on but a black blind fold. He is excited thou I can tell well actually I can see that he is, and man he is set like I want to rock yo body SET. I can’t help but run my hand up and down his length squeezing a few times for good measure. But as the man he is he holds his head high, planning to keep me happy. I run my hands around his torso barely touching him with my nails but he moves quickly to the side when my nail dig deep he lets out a grunt. “ALEXA I trust you baby, Do your worst!” And that my heart shatters, its already hard enough without him TRUSTING ME.. Seriously I’m barely able to do this as it is. “SHUT UP CAMERON, YOUR ONLY TO SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO, AND IN YOUR POSITION YOU’D DO WELL TO REMEMBER IT’S MISS CRUZ” I crack the whip jerking it back at the last second. Only the tip of the whip catches him but its enough to make him suck a deep breathe through his teeth. And a tear escapes the corner of my eye, it’s the same noise he makes when is sees me come in to the room. It’s his suddenly stunned noise. The same sound I dream he would make when entering my body. It’s this exact moment I realize me and Cam have slept side by side off and on all week and he has never tried anything more than to just hold me. “OH FUCK MY LIFE, I CANT DO THIS” I scream. I jerk his blindfold off leaving him hanging. He sees me for the first time in my black leather cat suit. Whip in hand looking like Halle Berry in cat woman. My hair is in a long braid and I have on spiked stilettos that would castrate a man on contact. His eyes pop out of his head as his eyes travel from head to toe and stopped dead in his tracks when he reaches my eyes. “Lexi baby let me down I need to touch you” I can’t hold it back anymore the thoughts are ripping at my brain, my limbs are numb, and I just want to scream ……… so……. I do. I lash out like a child refused their favorite candy, twisting violently with my head hung back screaming at him and the sky in unison.

  “CAM YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM SO TIRED OF TRYING TO RUN YOU OFF, MY BODY ACHES AND MY HEAD SCREAMS, NOTHING MAKE SINCE WITH YOU HERE, YOU FUCK ME ALL UP. I WAS FINE WITHOUT YOU THEN YOU SHOW UP ACTTING ALL HAPPY AND DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT, AND HERE I HAVE YOU STRUNG UP ABOUT TO RIP YOU FULL OF SCARS FROM THE INSIDE OUT ALL YOU CAN SAY IS I TRUST YOU.. REALLY CAM YOU TRUST ME? IM ABOUT TO SHRED YOUR CHEST TO THE POINT YOU CAN’T GO WITHOUT A SHIRT. THEN ONCE YOUR BODY IS IN SO MUCH PAIN I’D DROP THE CHAINS LET YOU FALL TO THE FLOOR AND HAVE MAY WAY WITH YOU ALL THE WHILE MAKING YOU PRETEND LIKE YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME.” I release the chains and his knees hit the floor almost as loud as the chains do. “Just get dressed and get the fuck out of my house, and don’t bother calling, texting, or anything else just live your life. Take the clothes and go I’m done” my body has deflated and I can’t think. I turn to leave; grabbing my cell I buzz Gus “Can you please see Mr. Thompson home Gus. And Gus this chapter is over.” A brief very gruff yes ma’am sounds and I hear a click. “Cam, Gus will be in the garage in about 5 minutes make sure you have everything, don’t leave your wallet again or its going in the trash” he has his jeans on but not buttoned, shirt on but also not buttoned. He is so amazing to look at (I want to run my tongue up and down his firm stomach) and his eyes are glazed with pain. He is so confused, he is too innocent for this life he doesn’t deserve the abuse I would give him if he stayed, it couldn’t be all rainbows and unicorns forever. “Alexa..” he tries but my temper flares and I let out a nutcase ban chi scream punch the wall, flipping my hair, eyes bugging out, shaking from head to toe “GO CAMERON I’M DONE CHAPTER IS FUCKIN OVER GET THAT…. DONE….THE END” after a minute that lasted about a decade he turns to leave.. Dragging his feet & then turns quick but I shoot him a death stare stopping him. He sees its over. “Good Bye Miss Cruz” & turns again, I hear from the hall way he mumbles “no wonder she’s alone, she’s so afraid” and like that he is gone. I hear the door click with finality and I crumble to the floor, broken again. Whatever was mending in my heart just ripped open again. When I wake up later I am covered in a blanket sprawled right where I fell. Valeria must have seen me, who knows what time it is, psht who fucking cares ….

  Chapter Four

  Days turn into weeks and work is the same. Maggie told me Cam made it home safe and her and Alex both tried to take me out. Maggie told me Cam seemed so sad when I didn’t show up to the air port to say goodbye. Everything’s back to normal except I miss Cam, I don’t ever miss anyone except my mom and dad. I stumble in to work half assed, I go home and crash in my familiar collegiate attire. I haven’t been out in weeks. I just lay around wishing Cam would walk through the door. Gus makes an appearance in the door way, “Miss Alexa if you don’t mind I think it’s about time someone told you what you need to hear not what you want to hear, I’ve been around for many years now & I have seen such a change in you, I understand your parents are gone & I understand what you went through in New York has changed you, & I get that group therapy was the hardest of them all. I don’t stick my nose in your life but it’s time someone did. You need to stop this self abuse & punishment. Your young and deserve a life your parents died not you, and if they were here now they would have already snatched you back to reality. I get it your running a company and a life you wanted nothing to do with but if you keep pushing people away and refusing the life you were meant to have you will be more like your mother than you ever knew, you will be but a shell, a husk of a girl, not a woman because a woman can stop being who she is suppose to be and be exactly who she is, no matter what others think , Now with that said I can have the jet fueled and ready within the hour, what do you say to going after Mr. Thompson?”

  After a few phone calls & girly scream fest with Maggie the address to Cams Mississippi home is acquired as well as all work rescheduled for a week later. Next thing I know I am 35,000 ft in the air with just a few hours between me & the man I love…LOVE? OMG I am freaking flying to Mississippi to get my man. One I screamed at and cussed. What if he has moved on? What if he doesn’t love me back? Men don’t do well with crazy females and boy does Cam know I am at the top of the race.

  Dr. Alpine has had a field day with me over the last few weeks, he thinks me going after Cam is a horrible idea, he says I should set him free and if
he comes back he was mine. What damn fortune cookie did he steal that shit out of? Set him free hadn’t I done that? And he didn’t come back. For once I believe Gus is smarter than Dr. Alpine! Oh NO the sweats are back what if crazy doc Alpine is right, what if he didn’t come back because he isn’t mine what if I am making a fool of myself, welp down these pills so I can stop freaking and get some rest when I wake up all will be right in the world.

  Waking up being shook to death by Gus sucks, I mean I had some crazy song playing on my iPod and was out like a light, drool dried on my cheek. Now that’s sexy. Gus has rented us a Lexus it’s apparently the nicest thing the Memphis airport offers as rentals. WHAT Lexus? OMG I am already missing my Maybach I want to stretch out in my recliner for what I am told is almost a 2 hour drive to Mississippi from here. Seriously this is as close as my Jet could land? What kind of PODUNK town am I going to that their airport can’t support a bird of my size? If I make this flight often I will be talking with the air force base about using their runway this is just slap nuts crazy. Oh well Lexus you will have to do. Sun glasses check, travel pillow under my head check, get comfy in the back seat while Gus plugs in my tunes and cranks it up for me CHECK. After just a few short minutes I see a weird little Kentacohut wanna be called Steak and shake EWWWWW seriously these people are weird! I mean it looks like a confused checkers sexed up red robins type place but I can’t help but tell Gus I HAVE TO TRY IT, that’s the college girl in me creeping out. I can’t bring myself to order a STEAK from a drive thru but I grab some chili fries and a huge Oreo shake. Now back to business, get me out of this mini apple wanna be please. Why on earth did Elvis pick here to build his PINK PALACE? ONWARD towards Mississippi we go! My head is lolling side to side with the sway of the crappy hwy…tree.tree.tree.bird.tree.tree.tree.diaperonroad.tree.tree. OMG will this road ever end? The thing is in need of serious repair it’s playing on my nerves, speaking of nerves what if Cam moved on? What if oh HERE we go again.. Suck it up Lexi you got this! Why does every store we pass has a name not a logo? Where are the raceways and circle k’s? I mean seriously no chain stations? All I have seen is Christy’s quick stop, Amy’s all you can eat, and a few run down gas shacks. While on this never ending road I can’t help but let my mind wonder back to one of the few days I got to spend with Cameron. Its weird just a few days and I have been utterly overtaken by this man. We spent a few days together yet made a life time of memories all the same.

  We’ve been lying out on the soft grass by the dock for what seems like hours, just rolling around ticking and giggling. On our backs with our heads cocked slightly touching we point out the crazy shapes and animals in the clouds. “Lexi” he purrs in his deep sexy voice. “I know I don’t have long left here but I will come back to you I promise” then the silence takes over. We knew from the start we had less than a week to be together but we had to try. And boy did we, just yesterday we went out to the glades and I let Cam show me what COUNTRY BOYS do for fun. It wasn’t mud but it was RAMBLING as he called it. We drove for hours with the windows down and sunroof back listening to his choice of music. Country yuckkkk! He looked so beautiful in his shorts and tank with his ball cap on kind of kicked up to the side all lazy like, Had his left arm slung over the top of the stirring wheel with the other thrown over the console laying dangerously low or should I say HIGH on my thigh. He makes me laugh just watching him. He looks sideways with a sly little smirk on his face then when I am memorized about to fall into a dark bliss of Cam he jumps at me and bust out “SHE THINKS MY TRACTORS SEXY” and LAWD help me I jump and scream and fall into another fit of giggles. What is this man doing to me. He looks perfect sliding through the glades in my hummer on 25 inch dub condors, it has one bad ass gator print paint job that flips between a dark green and a kandy apple lime green. DAYUM he looks so at ease taking control of the truck and he seems at home.

  Chapter Five

  Yelp we have found the fabulous HAMPTON INN in T-town as the locals seem to say.. Not much of a town if you ask me I already miss the cerulean blue water on the road side and the sky high builds. I could never plant my roots here. Things are so spread out and it just looks dirty compared to the clean concrete jungle I am use to. Miami is so laid back, one side of the street is roller bladders in bikinis and I pods the other side is crisp business suits, $1000 designer shoes, and cell phones, everything bright and sweet smells. Here NOT SO MUCH. It’s gloomy out today and all I smell is chicken grease. The Ellie May behind the desk is cute in her own way “HI YALLL WELCOME TO THE HAMPTON WHERE YOUR ROOMS ARE PARIS APPROVED, HOWEVER WE MUST ADVISE YOU BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR VIDEO EQUIPMENT” HAHAAA she draws it out it took like 5 minutes to say it and then her laugh is so loud and over the top. I of course in bitch mode Pop my bright green apple gum LOUD and slide my oversized Gucci shades down my nose “ ROOM NOW PENTHOUSE THANKS” pop my gum again and push my shades back on my face. The poor girl is staring wide eyed and has a weird dreamy look in her eyes. “Hello Ellie honey today?” The girl scurries and lets me know they don’t really have a penthouse but the top floor does house bigger rooms than normal and I can get 2 and open the door. WTF really? Gesh “ OK OK just give me 2 rooms and 2 keys” Gus will have to use 1 room and me the other. After Gus has brought in my entire luggage and parked the car um yea PARKED THE CAR because there is obviously no Jim Bob around to do that. Now I need to clean up and go hunt down the reason I came here.

  I send a fast text to Maggie letting her know I made it. And head out to “The Creek” where I learned through Maggie & Alex is where Cam would be spending most of his time. The drive takes forever well not really but since all I see is trees it seems forever. Man there are a lot of trees in Mississippi for real and this green vine like thing that seems to never end. Ah Kudzu I learn after checking it out on Google! After the 15 minute drive we pull up to the edge of what looked like a mud pile. Gus stayed in the car while I checked out the scene. NOONE NOTHING it was just dirty and no one was around. My heart dropped. I’ve flown and drove all this way and I will likely never even find him.

  As I made my way back to the car I heard a faint grinding noise in the distance, I turned but it was so hard to see looking into the sun. So I take the last few steps back to the car. Not really caring what it was obvious Cam wasn’t there.

  “LEXI? WHAT THE HELL, LEXI IS THAT YOU!?” I turn to see Cam sitting on a bright red Honda 4 wheeler and with all her 6ft glory a Malibu Barbie is hugged up close. I see RED all I can think is I want to claw her eyes out, instead my feet are froze and I am mute with my heart about to burst through my chest. Taking in her long tanned legs wrapped around his waist, her arms hugging his chest, she has short bobbed blonde hair and HUGE blue eyes. I HATE HER! She’s the exact opposite of me and she’s just as hot, wahhhh. Dropping my head I turn back to my car. About the time my hand reaches the handle Cam is right there grabbing me but he sees my face and stepped back. Lord knows he don’t want to upset tinker bell over there. UHHH of course she would climb off that stupid thing and have nothing on but a swimsuit and cutoffs with ewww what’s that crocs?

  “Cam I am so sorry I don’t why. Please forgive. shit Cam I don’t even know what I am saying, I am sorry I just came here thinking it would be ok, I just needed to fix things, I needed to say I am sorry” My eyes are pulled tight with worry and I can’t read his face, however I can read the face of tinker bell. Her hands cocked high on her hips with her pissy duckface poppin her bright pink gum, bitch don’t even know the green apple is the best, and boy is she ever pissed. I can’t help but let my bitchy smirk pull across the left side of my face for a second.

  “Lexi we should talk can I call you when I leave? Or maybe tomorrow you want to join us? You will be here still right? I will be here about noon to ride some more” and with that he turned and motioned for Tinker to get her slutty ass back on the 4wheeler. I stood like a fool a few seconds then snapped out of it. I WILL NOT LOSE TO HER, I came here for my man and I will fight for him! Mississippi or Miami I am still ALEXA CRUZ
damn it!!

  Chapter Six

  Standing at the counter of Honda Express dumbfounded flipping through the book of choices I have never been so confused. Finally when the attendant comes up I voice my needs…”OK dude look here I need a bad ass 4 wheeler that will make the boys drop their pants ok!, I want something that will go through anything, looks good, and makes those boys mad!. And I want something I can have today. Like right now, prices don’t matter.(I go all Veruka Salt on him) I want it and I want it now!. After about an hour of fusing with him I was running out of time, apparently you can’t roll in around here and get what you want on the turn of a dime. He said I could have the best but it needed to be ordered. So I settled for GREAT but not the best and sent Gus to trade our rental for a big monster truckish thing that seemed to be the norm around here. I ended up with a white Honda close to what Cam had but with some HUGE tires on it. Gus loaded the trailer and I got a quick 4wheeler for dummies course and we headed out. I was ready to show up and show out. Not that I knew jack crap about mud after all I was a water baby. They have water hear maybe I should get a few jet skis and invite them so I won’t look stupid on this thing, uh it was so loud. I best take my city ass back to the hotel for a little rest before my big day, yea REST what’s that? Every time I close my eyes a strong memory overtakes me making it hard to breathe. I just want to wrap my hands around Cam again and he is so close now.

  “I’m starved Lexi lets go grab a bite baby” how can a girl refuse a face like that. Besides I have wanted to take him down to TIKI by the WATER for a few days. “Ok I know a great place & we don’t have to change” when I jump up from what has quickly become one of our favorite places on the grass and start towards the water he cocks an eye at me confused. “Come on Cam we can take the jet ski there” I twist my tiny little ass at him as I tie on my cover up and stroll down to the dock. It takes us all of 6 minutes to zoom through the water n tie off at the deck of TIKI. We enjoy a wonderful fresh seafood lunch and a few beers before we take off down the pier hand in hand. “I could live like this forever; it’s so clear and liberating here.” Cam says with a sigh, “FREE ITS FREE HERE” I can tell he is thinking of how little time we actually have. It’s been such a carefree wonderful time. I took off work to make sure I got ever second with him regardless how pissy Alex was acting about it. “You know Cam it’s been nice having someone to hang out with and it just seem ssooo so … natural?! With you” We end up at a few little game booths they have set up and after about 20 minutes and $20 we finally have the over sized frog hanging at the top of the booth. It instantly became my new favorite must have item. We stop half way back up and Cam grabs me by the waist twisting me around to face him and we sway to the music playing. His hands tend to roam a little up and down my hip and around my lower back stopping just above my ass. UHHH wish he would push me a little but he doesn’t. He is staring at me like nothing else matters. The song ends snapping us out of the moment and a giggle fit explodes from me when he starts tickling me again. We run back to the Jet Ski full speed….